As sexual assault awareness month draws to a close, this is a perfect time to do a refresher on the two all-important words when it comes to sexual consent – yes and no. Sexual assault includes: Child molestation, unwanted touching, rape, and sex trafficking.

No

You may think it is ridiculous to explain what no means when it comes to sexual consent but ask any assault victim and s/he will tell you that the perpetrator did not respect their “no.”

Here are some very explicit no:

• Someone very clearly says no, absolutely not, or hell no
• Someone says: Stop, don’t, please stop, let me go
• Someone says: I am not ready for this, I don’t want to do this
• Someone puts up a fight, resistance or repeatedly pushes someone away
• Someone begins to engage in sexual activity but changes her/his mind
• Coercion to engage in sexual activity when the person has already indicated no

Automatic no:

• All young children
• Anyone with intellectual disabilities who are not capable to give consent
• Anyone drunk or significantly intoxicated by any substance
• Anyone unconscious or sleeping
• Anyone who is vulnerable which includes the elderly

YES

Sexual encounters are much more pleasurable when there are two consenting partners. Again, this may appear simplistic, but sexual assault is still a significant issue against women and children.

Explicit yes:

• Willingly and actively engages into a sexual activity from start to end
• Verbal consent “yes”

What’s Next

• Talk: If you believe you experienced sexual assault, talk to someone (see resources below)
• Parents: Have conversations about consent with both your boys and your girls
• Adults: The perpetrator is most often someone with whom you are familiar
• Adults: Be vigilant about your safety

Resources

National Sexual Assault Hotline – 1- 800- 656-4673

National Sexual Violence Resources – http://www.nsvrc.org

RAINN – http://www.rainn.org

SAKI – Sexual Assault Kit Initiative – http://www.sakitta.org